I don't know if this is a true story, but I do know it is a good laugh!!!
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.
Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I
could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects
by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer
the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming
most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity,
shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk
in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me
vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than
cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on
like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly
fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my
hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold,
and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve
dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!
